"...His mercies never end; they are new every morning..."

Now is your time.

2011-12-10T18:31:00.001-05:00

"Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe God is good and life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path."

Click Here to read a really great article.

Self-explanatory.

2011-12-06T23:12:00.001-05:00

A Birthday For Change

Meet the Kids!

2011-12-02T00:52:00.001-05:00

Click HERE to meet some amazing kids!

You're Invited!

2011-11-30T23:17:00.001-05:00

My birthday is December 28th....check out my invite!

My Birthday Invite!

Truth.

2011-11-23T21:59:00.001-05:00

Source: pinterest.com via Katie on Pinterest

Love, Your Puma

2011-11-14T17:21:00.001-05:00

How have 4 years already flown by? How are these ladies already old enough to be ready to graduate (Allie already did!), get jobs and even get married? I am selfish and I want more time with them in this sweet stage of life. Where they still think I know all the answers, am the slightest bit wise and they still laugh at my jokes. But I know that I can't keep them here, and of course I want them to grow. But I can say with all honesty that I love these sweet girls, now I need to start saying women, with all my heart. They have taught me way more than I have taught them and I can't imagine my life without them.

Love,

Your Puma

"Listen to advice and accept discipline,
and at the end you will be counted among the wise."

Proverbs 19:20

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you."

-Psalm 63:3

Do yourself a favor.

2011-10-27T10:11:00.000-04:00

The Weight of Words

Here is my roommate, Leize's, blog. Do yourself a favor and read. She inspires me. She reminds me to be better than I am. She reminds me of Christ.

Get up and take your mat and walk!

2011-10-25T23:54:00.002-04:00

For the past two nights I have attended the Lake Murray and Columbia Young Life banquets. This organization is very near and dear to my heart as it is where I came to put into practice the Jesus I had heard about in high school. It is where I spent my time in college praying, being broken, being taught, being broken and being loved. I learned how valuable it was to have relational ministries, how much more people responded to this approach. Where I heard so many times "I don't know about this Jesus guy, but I am going to follow Him because I trust you." And it's where I learned that lesson over and over again.

For the past two nights I have had the privilege of hearing Steve Gardner, Regional Director of SC and greater Charlotte, speak on the passage of John 5:1-18 - "The Healing at the Pool". And boy did it rock my world each time. He broke it down like this....there was a pool in Bethesda that people believed had healing powers. That from time to time, an angel would dip its wings in the water and cause a stir. Legend had it that whoever was the first in the pool after the stirring would be healed from whatever affliction they were suffering. So many came and laid mats and simply watched. Watched and waited with anticipation and hope. "Could today be the day I am healed?" "How can I be in first?" "How long must I wait for this blessing?" When Jesus came into town, he noticed there was a man who had been waiting by the pool for 38 years. 38 years. Let's just sit on that for a second. This man has put all his hope in being healed by the stirring of the water. Day after day this handicapped man made his way to the pool. Crippled and probably hurting, he made his way to the pool. And for 38 years someone always made it into the pool before him. Here he is, just sitting and waiting. Sitting and waiting for a supernatual act to happen and he will not move until then. Jesus walks up to the man and simply says "Do you want to get well?" Don't you think the man cocked his head to the side and just stared blankly and that maybe the disciples did the same? Obviously that's what he wants. And all it takes (like usual) is for Jesus to say "Get up and take your mat and walk." Done.

Why are we sitting around waiting for the waters to stir? Why are we ok with our thoughts about sitting around waiting for the waters to stir?

How often do we say when such and such happens, then I will move. When this happens I will really get going. When this time comes, then I'll go. Jesus is saying to you and I right now, in this very moment
Get up and take your mat and walk!" Not, wait until it feels right and go. There is a freedom in Christ that says we will be taken care of. We must be wise in our decisions, but we must also trust the one who created us. That He knows best. We don't need to waste away our lives and gifts waiting for the waters to stir. We don't need to wait 5,10,20, or even 38 years to be the first one in the pool.

Get up and take your mat and walk!

Priorities.

2011-10-16T22:52:00.000-04:00

"We talk so much about the second coming of Christ when so many people have never heard about the first."

-Willie Crews, Live School

When Willie Crews said this the other night, I seriously got chills. Stop and think about it for a second. We've been privileged enough to grow up in communities (most of us anyway) where hearing about the birth of Jesus has been spoken of throughout our lives. Why are we not screaming from the rooftops about the first coming of Christ and being increasingly expectant for the second?

All I Know.

2011-10-11T08:19:00.001-04:00

"I don't know how the stars hang
Or how there's night and then there's day
I don't know how you spoke into the black
And made it all obey

All I know is the bleeding in my heart
And the healing in your touch
All I know is that you gave everything
So let that be enough
'Cause it's all I know

I don't know how your love works
How you cover me in grace
I don't know how you swallow all I am
When I can't stand my taste

All I know is the bleeding in my heart
And the healing in your touch
All I know is that you gave everything
So let that be enough
'Cause it's all I know

I can't explain your mystery
But I know the answer

All I know is the bleeding in my heart
And the healing in your touch
All I know is that you gave everything
So let that be enough
'Cause it's all I know"

-Matt Wertz

"The grace of His silence."

2011-10-11T07:42:00.002-04:00

"A wonderful thing about God’s silence is that His stillness is contagious— it gets into you, causing you to become perfectly confident so that you can honestly say, “I know that God has heard me.” His silence is the very proof that He has. As long as you have the idea that God will always bless you in answer to prayer, He will do it, but He will never give you the grace of His silence. If Jesus Christ is bringing you into the understanding that prayer is for the glorifying of His Father, then He will give you the first sign of His intimacy— silence."

-Oswald Chambers

We (I) are so quick to become frustrated when we can't hear an obvious answer from the Lord. "I thought if I prayed and prayed that you would answer me? You said you would." But that is what He is doing, He is answering us in the silence. He is saying "you know the answer, you know the truth."

"The grace of His silence." I am not 100% sure I know what that fully means. But I am pretty darn sure I want to find out.

One year ago.

2011-10-09T16:26:00.000-04:00

It's a quiet Sunday, which I am insanely thankful for since it has been a really long week. The day has been filled with coffee, cleaning, all windows in the house open, lounging, and more coffee. I've also had lots of uninterrupted thinking time which led to reminiscing about this past year.

October 9, 2010....I have finished my first ultra marathon. The New River 50k in Fries, Va. I can still remember how I felt crossing that finish line - I remember starting to cry (surprise surprise) as I did. I was so proud of myself. I also remember going to dinner with sweet Laura and I couldn't even eat my dinner since I had been eating all day while running and how hard we laughed about how long it took me to get up out of my seat after said dinner. I remember driving home and wanting to be around the people I loved because I felt so empowered. I said I was going to do something and I worked hard and I did it.

It's crazy to me how much happens in a year. How I can look back and think how fast a year actually goes by. And how much life happens in that time. Goals are accomplished, new ones are made, new people come into your life, you become a year older, close friends become closer friends, the Lord breaks you yet again, people are gone from your life, babies are born and people get married. So many things change. Life changes. But looking back on the past year, the main thing I am reminded of is this - the Lord is good. He has been so good to me.

"I'm not who I was when I took my first step/

And I'm clinging to the promise that you're not through with me yet..."

- Bethany Dillon

There has been joy, so much joy. And there has been pain. I've taken steps backwards. I've taken leaps forward. The Lord is growing me. I am not a finished product and am understanding more and more that I won't be until the day He brings me home. So until then I will rejoice in the joy and the pain. Knowing that this time next year I will be an even better version of me is pretty exciting. What am I going to accomplish this year? How is the Lord going to grow me this next year? Everything in me wants to answer with "please be gentle, please be gentle." But then again, He wasn't gentle this year so why would I ask for that? If being grown gently means smaller or slower growth, then I'll pass. We'll see how I feel about that sentence in 2012.

And this Saturday I will run my first 5k since my ankle surgery. 50k to 5k in a year. Seems a little backwards, but then again sometimes I think we need to be drawn back to grow forward.

I Am.

2011-10-09T13:29:00.000-04:00

I Am

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest
The tide can change so fast,
But I will stay
The same through the past,
The same in future, same today

CHORUS:
I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires

Your heart's desires

Oh weary, tired and worn,
Let out your sighs
And drop that heavy load you hold
Cause Mine is light

I know you through and through;
There's no need to hide
I want to show you love
That is deep and high and wide

I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest

Songwriter: Jill Phillips
Publishers: JUVINTUD MUSIC, WORD MUSIC, LLC

Indecisive....who me?

2011-10-07T13:05:00.000-04:00

Lately I've been bogged down with being indecisive - not one of my normal characteristics. I can usually make a decision and move on. I generally believe I can now the major facts and make a pretty good decision based upon those and the rest of the facts will just fill in later. This is a blessing and a curse It helps me to not sit in indecision very often but it also can lead to not making the wisest decision and having to deal with the repercussions later.

Well the past couple of weeks I have been burdened with having to make a decision about something. And I can't. I can't decide to go with A or B. "Hello, Katie? This isn't you, this isn't your personality. Make a decision already!" This is what my head is telling me. But my heart is going stir crazy. A or B? A or B? I don't want to make a hasty decision but at what point do I just trust that the Lord is really leading my heart in this direction? How long do you wait? I've never been really good with timelines....

And then last night. In Bible study we are getting to know Ruth and Esther. Last night we read Ruth 4:1-22 . Basically Boaz did the right thing by offering Naomi's property and Ruth to the unnamed kinsman. And the kinsman declined, and he wasn't wrong for doing that. He made a decision that was good for him and his family. And then Boaz does what he believes is right. He was obedient to what he believed the Lord was calling him to. And for being obedient, he was placed in the lineage of Christ. Boaz had no idea that this would even be possible (Deut 23:3). But again, our God is so much bigger than any decision we can make.

We have the same Holy Spirit in us that was given to Jesus. The same one who leads us daily. Who was sent to us by the one who created us. And I am truly beginning to believe more and more with every breath I take that I will not be lead astray. If my heart is steadfast after the Lord and I truly want to make the decision that will bring Him the most glory, I will not falter. I will not make the wrong decision. He asks that I trust Him. And that is what I am going to do. His ways are better than mine.

We are called to be courageous. We are called to trust His word. We are called to do everything in our power to bring peace among each other and praise to His name. So let's start trusting that He is doing great works in us. Not for the glory of men on earth - but for the God who was and is to come.

2011-10-05T23:39:00.000-04:00

When are we going to learn that God doesn't make junk?

20 Minutes Away.

2011-10-03T19:21:00.000-04:00

For quite a while now I have been struggling with feeling like I am missing something. Not like my wallet or keys, or even a favorite shirt. Something more. I feel as if there is a piece of my life, my story, that I am walking daily without.

I dream about being able to take time off of work whenever I feel the need to travel. To attend a fundraiser. I keep saying I need to go overseas and be part of a mission trip. That I NEED to go to a third world country and be shaken back into the reality of despair in the world. To be broken again for the lives that are just barely being lived. To be struck with humility over how much I have and how much I can really be giving. But here's the thing, I've been thinking that I need to leave where I am for the Lord to give me this shake-down.

But this past Sunday I was awakened to how close this reality was to my home. I joined a group of amazing, world-changers to visit a community no more than 20 minutes from my front door. To drive to "The Gates of Hell" as some neighbors have dubbed it, and experience the brokenness for myself. This visit was meant to be a time where I could see what the ministry was all about and if I was feeling led to be a part of it. Ten minutes into being there and I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I've been to Haiti and have seen the devastation and poverty. I've seen the despair. But this was different. I didn't spend 20+ hours traveling, or have to pack my life into one bag. I didn't have to raise thousands of dollars in support by telling people how I was hoping to be used in that week. I didn't need a translator to communicate with the kids (well, most of the time). These kids spoke my language. They responded directly to me when I talked to them. They asked me who I was and I could tell them myself. We could laugh at jokes that we both understood. I could sit and listen to the prayer requests of middle school girls who are begging for daily needs to be met that I didn't give more than 2 seconds of thought to. These kids are the ages of my brother and sister. When one of the leaders told them I had something interesting about my family, one of the girls piped up and said "What, they rich?" But when I told them that I had 8 siblings and 5 of them were black, the girls just stared at me. No, we don't come from a well-off family. And yes our electricity and water has been turned off before because we couldn't pay it. But no, I don't understand what it means to be hungry. I don't understand what it means to live in a neighborhood like this.

But I do know what it means to feel so alone and hopeless like no one cares. I know what it means to live a life without Christ and have no clue which way is up.

Leaving there that night, I knew my heart was aching to go back already. To use the gifts and resources I have been blessed with to help change a community.To pray for these children who were created with just as much care and attention as I was. They deserve no less than the hopes and dreams that I have. For safety and security. For education and a future. For healthy families and jobs.

They deserve no less than me giving away the blessings I have received from the Lord. Because they were not mine to begin with. They were a gift given to me with the intention that I would pay it forward.

While I do believe it is a courageous thing to travel across the globe to reach the broken (I am planning on going to Nicaragua in March myself) it is not absolutely necessary. You can make an impact on the least of these 20 minutes away. You can forever change your community and love the seemingly unloved day after day after day. You don't have to leave after a week, month or year. You go back often. You care for them when it is most needed and wanted.

So go. Make disciples of the people who are close to you now. Go. Make disciples of people on another continent. Wherever the Lord is leading you, just go.

He demands that we do so. Let us learn to be obedient to His demands. I pray that I am more and more obedient with each passing breath.

So easy to miss.

2011-09-28T22:52:00.003-04:00

If we believe we can change the world for God, but still have discontent in our daily life, then we have missed the most basic of teachings.

We all want to do great things and a lot of people do have great passion. But let us not forget the people we come in contact with daily and those we have true relationships with. Your ministry will never be strong if you aren't that world-changer you want to be on a daily basis.

In the words of the great Jewel...

2011-09-27T13:24:00.001-04:00

"I want to be the kind of woman I'd want my daughter to be."

-Jewel (Stronger Woman)

Romans 14:19

2011-09-27T09:37:00.005-04:00

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification."

-Romans 14:19

He demands it.

2011-09-21T10:20:00.002-04:00

Jesus doesn't ask that we care for the less fortunate. He demands it.

Lord, let me be obedient to your demands.

2011-09-20T22:40:00.001-04:00

2011-09-15T23:09:00.000-04:00

"Some people say faith is a childish game
Play on, children, like it's Christmas day"

The Good Lord is By Our Side.

2011-09-12T22:42:00.001-04:00

"If the sparrow could catch His eye/
Then how much more delight/
Must the Father take in me under His wing/
But I still ask to touch His side/
Doubting all the time...

We were called to live/
So let's not sit around and wish/
Let's take Him at His word that He'll always provide/
The good Lord is by our side"

-Tommy Carnes

It's all that I have.

2011-09-08T09:57:00.000-04:00

"So how can I thank You
What can I bring
What can these poor hands
Lay at the feet of a King
I'll sing You a love song
It's all that I have
To tell You I'm grateful
For holding my life in Your Hands"
-Nicole Nordeman

What are we waiting for?

2011-09-07T22:30:00.001-04:00

"You don't have to wait until you are 60 or 70 years old to start making a difference in the world..."

Blake Introducing Start Something That Matters from TOMS on Vimeo.

Drawn to each other.

2011-09-01T23:05:00.001-04:00

"The Holy Spirit recognizes the Holy Spirit, Katie. That's how we know each other."
- A sweet customer at work after trying to figure out why I looked so familiar to her. Wow the Lord is amazing!

beautiful tension.

2011-08-21T19:40:00.003-04:00

"Begging the Lord to move His hand in a particular way and begging Him to give you peace if He doesn't is such a beautiful tension."

I completely stole this from Jessi Connolly. Thanks for taking exactly what is going on in my heart and putting it into words.

2011-08-17T23:30:00.002-04:00

The other night, one of my sweet-bold-amazing friends Laura said something serious. It wasn't even her main point in talking, but I hardly remember anything after this. (Sorry Laura, I promise I love you!) She said that our purpose in life was to bring people to Christ. And that was it.

We get so caught up in what "our purpose" in life is -what we are supposed to be doing and all that crazy,buy myself some more time to sit in ambiguity, and wait until I hear the audible voice of the Lord. And we end up doing nothing. We sit and wonder how these years have passed us by.

Spoiler...our purpose in life is to bring people to Christ. Plain and simple. We don't need to sit around and think of the biggest and baddest way to do this, we need to commit to doing something and make it happen. We don't need to be playing a game of "bigger and better" (YoungLife anyone?) with other Christians on who can do the best job of showing Christ.

If I am a part of the biggest non-profit in the world and am able to interact with millions of people and show Christ, then amen. If I am a stay-at-home mom who shows Christ to my children and raises them in a way that glorifies the Lord and I daily die to them, then amen.

We are not all called to the same ministry. But one is not above the other. We are called to bring people to Christ. Simple.

My prayer is that I would trust whichever direction the Lord is leading me. And I would run, not walk, into the path of bringing people to Christ.

Priase Him from whom ALL blessings flow!

True Colors.

2011-08-14T16:45:00.002-04:00

So I love this song and think the words are so beautiful and applicable. But Cindy, oh Cindy...you make me giggle uncontrollably when I watch this video.

I say amen.

2011-08-04T22:58:00.003-04:00

If after searching, the only conclusion you come to is to keep following the One who has lead you this far,
then I say amen.

Not fully independent, but not a burden.

2011-08-04T08:47:00.002-04:00

Hi, my name is Katie and I have pride issues. Now that that is out there, I can begin. My pride issues rooted in that I want to be able to do things myself. I can handle situations, stress and basically life without the help of others. In the words of a two-year old, "I do it." But here's the thing, most of the time I need help and I don't ask. Two reasons: I don't want people to think I am incapable and most importantly, I don't want to be a burden to people.

Example one of 534,567,432 I could give you...I've been in a cast for almost a month now. I had surgery on my left ankle and was basically home bound for 2 weeks and could only get around on crutches. First moment of feeling like a burden was even before the surgery, when I had to ask one of my roommates to take me because I wasn't allowed to drive myself home. Easy enough, right? Wrong. Then came the next 2 weeks of needing to ask for help when carrying things around the house. I was so stubborn about doing things without help - like getting my own food/drinks from the kitchen, moving my 500 pillows from the bedroom to the living room and taking care of Sarabelle. I know this all sounds crazy, but I didn't want to be a burden on my friends. I didn't want them to be put out by anything I needed.

I felt like I had something to prove. A persona I had to keep up. I don't want them to think I am weak or needy. I don't want to be weak or needy. To the point of me falling down some stairs in front of my roommate because I wanted to show I could walk down them on my crutches without her help. Yup, I sure showed her...

But thankfully the Lord is more powerful than we could even begin to imagine. He used this time, that He ordained, for His glory.

I couldn't carry my glass to the kitchen, or my pillows to the living room. I needed to ask for help and tell someone I couldn't do it. When I went back to work last week, I still couldn't do a whole lot. I couldn't carry boxes or climb the ladder to grab something or even stand for long periods of time. I had to ask for help or the job wouldn't get done. And guess what? When I asked, people were willing to help. But I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that everyone was over me being the cripple and ready for me to pull my own weight. And I've been sitting in that for these past few weeks - assuming what everyone was thinking in their heads. But at least I was able to ask for help now, right? That's right, I can ask you to help me carry that box but I'll sit silently in my own guilt and fear of dependance while you do it and just kill myself emotionally. Right...I thought I was making progress??

Until yesterday. I was talking to someone about all of this and being really honest. He listened and then said something that had never crossed my mind. "Why does it have to be one extreme or the other? Why does it have to be either you can do it 100% on your own or you are a complete burden to everyone around you? Is there a middle place - where right now you are just a person who is in need of help that people are WILLING to give? Not a burden, but not fully independent." He then turned the tables and asked if I liked to help my friends and family. And after saying I would give anything I had to them, even without them asking. And fully believing that I would. He just sat back and said how sad it was that I see them as being worthy of help but I don't give myself the same mercies. Zinger.

That has sat with me since yesterday. The only thing I am completely sure of right now is that the Lord is good. Simple. I like simple. But if the Lord is good then all He creates is good. He created me. I am no math major but I do know that means that I am good. I am good right here and right now. I am worthy of His love and mercies because He created me to be.

One of my not-so-much-best characteristics is that I completely project my assumptions of what people think of me onto them. I play out an entire conversation or thought-process that has actually never happened and make myself believe that those are your actually feelings. I always thought this was a great way to protect myself. If I already knew how you felt or thought, then I could prep myself for it. I could deal with it on my own and that way when it was verbalized I wouldn't get hurt because I already knew it. Truth about defense mechanisms...they do more harm than good. I've actually been doing more harm than good to myself. Whoops.

So again, this is where I grow. This is where I see Him changing me. Undoing all that I have done to myself. We are never so broken that we cannot be fixed. Never. He brings these things into the light when they will be the most glorifying to Him. And right now He is getting the most glory by tearing down these ~~strong and powerful~~ flimsy and weak walls I have built.

How could I be anything but thankful for needing to be dependent on Him. The one who "created all of my delicate, inner parts of my being and knit me together in my mother's womb...when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth." (Psalm 139:13,15)

He does more.

2011-08-03T22:55:00.003-04:00

It would be enough if God just cleansed
your name, but He does more.
He gives you His name.

Doesn't return void.

2011-07-31T15:50:00.006-04:00

I've often joked that if the Lord would allow me to win the lottery, I would do really great things with the money. I'd be able to donate here, and help so and so out and I could quit my job and start my own non-profit that would just bless people beyond belief. And then, I would really be doing the Lord's work. Let's be honest, a lot of us think this way. We think that only when we are doing all of the above are we actually doing the Lord's work to the best of our ability.

Boy what a load of junk I've believed. All that says is "if you make it real easy for me to give, God, I'll be really good at it." Of course I would be able to do really great things if I had tons of money, if I was always happy, if I had time to devote 100% of my day to missions. But here is the thing, that's not how it works for me. I have a job, I don't make tons of money and while I have a pretty amazing life, I am not happy all the time.

This is where it gets even better though. The Lord knows all of this. He was the one who provided me with a job. He is the one who has me living in a town that I sometimes wish I could run out of. He isn't blind to any of this. He also is well aware of exactly what I can be doing. Today the preacher at church referenced Isaiah 55:11

"...so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

Did you read that? The Lord's word does not return void. We aren't called to live mediocre lives but we also aren't called to live in the if only I had more I could give/do more. God gives us what we need. He gives to us what He wants us to give out. It is not our place to decide what God wants us to give, or how much. We need to give with what we have. And it is probably going to hurt. But whatever we are giving away, is not ours to begin with. And as soon as we realize and truly believe that, we will have a much easier time letting go of our time, money and security.

Now I am not saying I am a great example to follow on all of this. I still hold onto the things the Lord has given me pretty tightly. I like security. But the Lord is working on me. He's doing some good stuff. And I want to share with anyone who reads this about how good the Lord is. How we have so much more to learn from Him. And how as soon as we stop always trying to do things ourselves, He is more than willing to take the reigns. The devil likes to get in and lie to us by saying we don't have the time or resources to do the Lord's work, so why try? And believe me, it is so easy to believe that! But hey, remember that time the Lord defeated Satan? Oh yeah, that's right. So get behind me Satan (in the Southern accent that sometimes creeps out of nowhere) and Lord continue to be doing a mighty work in me with what you have blessed me with.

In the words of the Great RevRun: " 2 Love God is 1 thing. 2 trust is another level! Trusting sum1 is a greater compliment than loving them "

He doesn't swoop.

2011-07-29T17:38:00.003-04:00

How different would my days look if I actually lived out my belief that God is ever present in my life? That He is with me wherever I go. That He is PRESENT. If I'm real honest with myself, I get caught up in the mindset that God swoops down to save my rear when I've made the wrong decision. I don't have to sit and pray and ask for Him to come. He's already there! All I can do is think about how my day to day interactions would change if I lived in this truth. Talk about some freedom!

Psalm 23
¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

He is with me. He doesn't swoop in and out. He doesn't just go before me and prepare the way. He doesn't just go behind me and clean up my mess. He does all of that. I limit His power to do all of this, to trust that He can. But that's what He says He will do. We don't need to call out and beg for God to meet us where we are, because He's already there.

Think about the possibilities of how the world could change if every Christian lived out the moments of their days with the confidence that the Lord was standing right beside them.

Let me not forget the power of who He is. I AM. He is the one who created the world, created me, defeated Satan, sustains me with every breath. And He is the one who will be present with me in every moment of my life. I pray that I would start living with the knowledge that God is here with me now and will be every next step I take.

You are so good.

2011-07-29T17:21:00.001-04:00

When the sun starts to rise
And I open my eyes
You are good, so good
In the heat of the day
With each stone that I lay
You are good, so good

With ever breath I take in
I'll tell you I'm grateful again
When the moon climbs high
Before each kiss goodnight
You are good

When the road starts to turn
Around each bend I've learned
You are good so good
And when somebody's hand
Holds me up helps me stand
You are so good

With every breath I take in
I'll tell You I'm grateful again
'Cause its more than enough
Just to know I am loved
And You are good

So how can I thank You
What can I bring
What can these poor hands
Lay at the feet of a King
I'll sing You a love song
It's all that I have
To tell You I'm grateful
For holding my life in Your Hands

When it's dark and it's cold
And I can't feel my soul
You are so good
When the world is gone gray
And the rain's here to stay
You are still good

So with every breath I take in
I'll tell You I am grateful again
And the storm may swell

Even then it's well and You are good
-You Are Good, Nicole Nordeman

He done slapped that lion in the mouth.

2011-07-23T17:30:00.005-04:00

So I've been reading through 1 Samuel 17 these past 2 weeks. Yes 2 weeks on one chapter - but it's been great because I've been following some sermon videos on it that are really dissecting the words and helping me really understand the power of it.

In verse 34 David talks to Saul (who is doubting that David can defeat or even compete with Goliath) about being a shepherd. A shepherd loves his sheep. David loves his sheep. He talks of how if a lion or bear came and took one of his sheep, he would go after it, attack it and get his sheep back. And WHEN the lion turned on him, he would grab it by the hair, smack it and kill it.

Now this sounded really crazy to me. David went up to a lion and basically grabbed it by the mane, smacked the junk out of him and killed it. But then I must remind myself that he was anointed to be the new King and he was about to kill Goliath. Ok, I'm on board.

I have heard often as a Christian that we are God's sheep. That He is our shepherd. He does not allow the lion to come and take one of us away without walking up to it, smacking, killing and bringing us to back safely to the flock.

See, David could have easily just sat down and thought how much it sucked that he has lost a sheep. Or he could have cried over how unfair it was. He was a good shepherd, how did this happen? What had he done wrong? He could have stayed in that place of grief and loss, and not many people would have blamed him, sheep were valuable. He could have even actually gone after the lion, heard ONE roar out of its mouth and hightailed it home! (Again, who would blame him?) David could have walked away hearing Saul say that he had no chance against Goliath and just gone home.

But he didn't. He didn't let who he was, what had happened in his past, or what he had done define him. He walked up to the lion and smacked him in the face.

We (I) can sit around and believe that my past defines me. That I am no more than my current misfortunes or circumstances. That I am weak against the lion.

But that is when we give in. We don't trust that the Lord is coming right after us to lay the smack down on the lion.

God was not punishing David with the lion and the bear. He was not giving him what he deserved. He was preparing David to face Goliath.

"Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God."
1 Samuel 17:36

It is easy to sit here and say that from now on I'll just see all my tragic moments as times of preparation for the Goliaths in my life! Wouldn't it be nice if it was that easy?!

But like I've said before, this is a beginning. This is a new realization and this is where I grow. A little at a time. But grow nonetheless.

Dear Baby Eliza.

2011-07-19T22:34:00.003-04:00

I felt like I needed to write Baby Eliza since she won't know me very well.

Dear Baby Eliza,

Welcome to the outside of the womb! It's a really great place, I promise! Not as warm and cozy, but oh so good! My name is Katie and you may not know my voice, but girl I know you! I was the one asking your Mom and Dad for you before they told people me you had been created. Let me just say this: I love your older sister Liv. I feel like she is my blood. And simply if nothing else, you are her sister, you are amazing to me! But believe me, I am sure we are going to be close. You just wait!

Tomorrow you will come into this world. I am jealous that I can't be there to hold you. I can't be there to let you hear my voice so that you'll recognize it in the future. But know this, you are loved. Your mama's girlfriends loved you from the moment we knew you existed. You have been born into an amazing family and to parents that I am honored to call friends. All we knew was that there would be another James Baby and we loved EVERYTHING about you from that point on! Every time you kicked your mama, whoever got to feel it, was the prized one for that Monday night.

I can't imagine not being completely in love with you. I can't wait to watch you grow and secretly...learn to say my name. And recognize me in a group. Yes, selfish, but true.

You are dearly loved by more people than you could even begin to fathom.

Welcome to the world sweet girl. I am praying for a early realization of how much the Lord loves you. Praying for your future and health.

Marg Monday Night Auntie,
Katie

Happy Birthday Brittany!

2011-07-19T12:49:00.002-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITTANY!

If you don't know Brittany you should. A lot of people serve well, but she goes above and beyond. She serves simply because that is her nature. No questions asked. She loves our God with a sense of joy and trust that is magnetic. She loves kids in a way that I sometimes don't understand, and she loves them well. She wants each of them to know the love of Christ but doesn't stop there, she wants them to give their lives to Him. So thankful the Lord has brought you into my life!

You have the biggest servant's heart. You painfully go out of your way to serve others. You love God and it is evident in every word you speak and hug you give. Thank you for loving me so well and so unconditionally. Leize and I are more than blessed and honored to say that we are your roomies!

It's easy to pass the buck.

2011-07-18T16:04:00.004-04:00

Another lie we believe is that we don't know what God wants for us. I am starting to believe more and more that we do. We've always known. He created us for a purpose and we have been given the Holy Spirit. We've been wired from the beginning with our future in His mind. There are so many things we blame on God because we either are lazy or scared to take responsibility. We say we are "waiting on the Lord to move us", "we just aren't sure what He wants us to do", and like I've said before "we can't hear his voice."

How easy is it for us to play these God cards and say it is all in His control when we take action. Yes, everything is in His control. But come on, let's take a bit of the responsibility and get our own booties moving. When I am saying I am not sure what the next step in life is, am I actually doing something to try and figure it out? Or am I just sitting around hoping for the audible voice of God to tell me exactly who to call? (Side note: I have never heard the audible voice of the Lord. And would most likely pee my pants if I did.) We just pass the buck onto God instead of having to step out and jump.

The Lord calls us all to something great. We can't sit here and believe that we aren't made for great things. Am I taking advantage of the opportunities He is placing in my life? None are too small. Small opportunities lead to great movements.

Take David for instance, when Samuel came to his father, Jesse, and told him that one of his sons was to be anointed as KING, Jesse didn't even bring David in the room! David was not thought of as someone who could be in the running. He was left out with the sheep while all this commotion was going on. But God knew. And when David was brought to Samuel, he was anointed with the Holy Spirit and told that one day HE would be king. David, left out with the sheep, the runt of the family, was going to be KING OF ISRAEL! Boom!

Am I using the opportunities presented to me in the best way possible? David was sent by Jesse to bring bread and cheese to his brothers in battle. Not the most glamorous job but in this he found himself with the chance to fight Goliath. And we all know how that ended! Actually not all of us do. So basically David(average man, besides the whole being told would be the King of Israel) killed Goliath (giant, big, scared everyone) with a sling and his sword.

So what purpose has God created me for? What do I look at and it is imprinted on my heart? What gets my heart racing?

He's been faithful before and he'll be faithful again.

I've asked hard questions lately and been met with answers. But God has not changed. He has not rolled His eyes at me and said "really, again Katie?" He is faithful everytime I ask. He always will be faithful. He has never let me want for the things that sustain me. No matter how far I run away from Him, as soon as I turn around He is face to face with me. Faithful. We cannot outrun Him and He is ready to answer us EVERYTIME we ask.

Listening.

2011-07-15T15:54:00.002-04:00

What does it really mean when people say they can't hear the voice of the Lord?

I'll be honest, I've said it oodles of times. But the more I've been thinking about it (and I have lots of time on my hands right now to think!), it doesn't make sense. A very wise woman told me the other night that it is not that the Lord is not speaking to us, it is that we aren't listening.

It is not that the Lord isn't speaking to us. It is that we are choosing to listen to another voice. We are choosing to listen to the one that is easier to believe. The one that tells us we are not good enough. That gives us flashes of our past sins. That tells us how unworthy we are. How far we are from ever being fit to be loved by God.

Here's the truth. I am unworthy and unfit to be loved by God. I have done nothing in my life to deserve having God call me to himself.

Isn't it crazy how the devil takes truth and twists it in such a way??

But here is more truth. The Lord chose me. I didn't choose him. I have no responsibility in this matter. I can take no credit. I have the Holy Spirit and no matter how long I sit in the sadness of not "being where the Lord wants me", He is still good.

He is still good. He is good when I am loving the least, when I am giving away my all, when I throw my hands up in worship.

He is still good when I am worrying about my future, when I am doubting how He can provide, and when I am going completely against His commission to me to go and make disciples.

I believe it is a conscious choice which voice we listen to. We have to make choices in life. We can't sit back and just wait until we have a defining, earth-shaking sign from the Lord. We choose to listen to His voice and we act.

Today I have chosen to listen to Him. I may have to make that choice quite a few more times today. And tomorrow will be no different. Or the next day. But at some point it will become a habit. At some point I won't have to consciously say to myself out loud "today I choose to listen to you, God."

In Christ I am completely forgiven. 2 Corinthians 5:17
In Christ I am chosen and valuable. Ephesians 1:3-5
In Christ I am unconditionally loved. Romans 8:38-39

Amen and Amen.

2011-07-14T21:51:00.001-04:00

"What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs."
Matthew 10:27

Shouldn't surprise me.

2011-07-13T13:05:00.004-04:00

Sometimes there are songs that unfortunately get stuck in your head, i.e Justin Beiber Never Say Never. (Thank you to my 2 year old nephew for asking so sweetly over and over again "Justin Beiber #9 please Katie" - those dimples get him whatever he wants!)

But then there are songs that stick in my head and I find myself singing them before I fall asleep and then when I wake. Songs that bring you comfort and you realize are more than a song. They are a cry of your heart.

It baffles me how you can hear a word a million times and it means nearly nothing, just another word. Until that one day you hear it and it sticks. It sticks and you are drawn to it's power.

Hosanna. Hosanna in the highest. Why was this word, this phrase stuck in my head and overpowering every thought. And I have been almost afraid to even question why it is bringing me so much comfort.

So what did I do? Of course I googled it like any normal person would do!

"Overall, it seems that "Hosanna" is a cry for salvation; while at the same time is a declaration of praise."
-Somewhere on Google

A cry for salvation and a declaration of praise. So two of the many topics that have been on my heart have been put into a beautiful song that I hear constantly in my mind these past few days.

God, you're a good one. Shouldn't surprise me when you do these things.

But You did.

Got me again.

More faithful than the morning.

2011-07-12T09:50:00.009-04:00

When did it happen?

What was the moment that all the fire you had built up inside fizzled out. When the passion you had for changing the world got put on the back burner? Was it the security (false) of a steady paycheck? Did the materials of this world become so enticing? Was Your voice drowned out by the desires of this world?

Why does it feel like I gave in way too easily? Does anyone else feel like that? Like you really didn't put up a fight for it? I feel as if I laid down my life - but not for the case of Christ but for the things of this world.

It's easy to feel like a failure. It's easy to be hard on yourself to place the blame on someone. Because yes, of course I did it and I deserve the discipline for my disobedience. God, please don't even look at me because I have basically said no thanks, I'll try it my way. Like a two year old I said "No, I do it." How many times do we need to have this talk? How many times do I need to say that I am sorry for "No, I do it." And most importantly, how do I make this time count? How do I not end up here again?

And in all honesty I am completely embarrassed. Embarrassed and ashamed to admit that I've fallen back into this way of life. Those few people that I've spoken this to - are they rolling their eyes at me when I'm not looking? Saying "here we go again", "and she's done it again, folks!"

All I know is that I've got nothing left. I have no more energy left to fight you for control. It's as if I've been in a wrestling match with you and we both know you are stronger, but I am still wrecking myself to try and come out on top. All because I am sinful and I don't believe I get everything for nothing. Here I am, Katie the Israelite. Just sitting here in the desert playing with the sand and pouting because no one is letting me in on what is coming next. But let's be honest, I wouldn't believe them anyway.

But then you come to me in the quiet of the night. When I am laying in bed and no one is around and I am vulnerable. You come to me and you speak the sweetness of grace over me again. You tell me how you had to let me get the fight out of me, tire myself out like a child throwing a temper tantrum. You tell me that this is how this grace thing works. Remember Katie, when I opened your eyes to my grace? Remember how it felt on your heart, how much it burned? How I made you new in that moment? Come on, think, I know you remember.

Where did I get the understanding that once I decided to follow you that it would always be a path full of daisies and I would never stumble? If there is one thing I've learned from running is that I fall. I fall often and hard. If I start to daydream and take my eyes off the trail, I end up face down in the dirt. But it shakes me back to the reality of where I am and what I have come to do. So I get back up. I get back on the trail and I start running again. Because I know that I've come out on this trail for a reason. There are a million ways I could weave these trails to get back to my car. I could take the easy way that I've done a million times.

But there is one that is best. There is one that will challenge and test me. The one that will make me a stronger runner. The one I will finish and say to myself, with blood running down my knees and gasping for my next breath, yeah that was a good run.

My prayer today is that I would be reminded that He is the God of the present, my present. And not just my past and future. He is good today where I am. He loves me today with who I am. Not only tomorrow with who I will become.

I don't trust that the morning will come. It just comes and I don't question it. I don't give it a second thought.

He is more faithful than the morning.

The Rabbi's Heartbeat

2011-07-10T22:54:00.002-04:00

"The Rabbi doesn't want us to be perfect, just real. Yet at times we try so hard to please God and impress others - determined to be perfect Christians - that we're sucked dry of energy and sickened by our own slick surface and inner hypocrisy. It leaves us feeling dangerously brittle, as lifeless and fruitless as a tree in midwinter swoon.

We need a divine transfusion. The Rabbi's heartbeat is for us, not against us. Though He will always cut away the counterfeit green and barrenness of our hypocrisy, He will never crush the bruised reed of our broken lives. The hewn branches He leaves along the pathway are never the result of disgust but always the result of His care-filled pruning.

Come then...and listen to the Rabbi's heartbeat; lean in close to the warm reality of what His incarnation and resurrection can mean in the routines of your life. Feel the vitality that returns to your soul when you accept yourself, receive His love, and revel in His grace."

-The Rabbi's Heartbeat

2011-07-07T22:54:00.005-04:00

"There are things you do because they feel right and they may make no sense and they may make no money and it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other and to eat each other's cooking and say it was good."

- StoryPeople

2011-07-07T10:42:00.001-04:00

"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength."

-Isaiah 30:15

LMB

2011-06-20T22:45:00.004-04:00

If I could list the ways I look up to her...we'd be here all night. Check out my roomie's blog.

(Two of my very favorite people!)

Check Out Leize Marie's Blog Here!

2011-06-15T21:13:00.000-04:00

"Jesus wasn't something God cooked up at the last minute to try to rescue us from what happened when we were given freedom to truly make a mess of things."

- Rob Bell

To All The Single Ladies....

2011-06-13T21:54:00.004-04:00

Yes, one day you too will find a man who will take you to paint pottery on a Sunday. And enjoy it. And be this deep in concentration over a Weiner dog. Sorry, I meant Dachshund.

2011-05-02T18:57:00.001-04:00

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

(I know MLKJ didn't say it, but I like it anyway.)

teach me YOUR paths.

2011-02-23T09:04:00.001-05:00

"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from old."
Psalm 25:4-6

What a plea. YOUR ways. YOUR paths. YOUR truth. There comes a time where you don't want your own anymore. Sometimes the want comes, stays, then leaves...only to come back to make your heart ache again.

But it's those times that it stays, and stays and you keep waiting for it to leave you - but it stays. And there is a peace you can't explain but you cling to it because you don't ever want it to leave.

Satisfied.

2011-02-21T08:14:00.002-05:00

One of my biggest struggles is staying satisfied. I pray and pray and then when the Lord provides, I am in euphoria of what He has done, until I want the next step. I have the habitual problem of wanting to be one step ahead of where I actually am and I end up sabotaging the goodness that I am living in now. Man, satan is good at what he does.

My new daily prayer is that I would be content where I am now and not always yearning for what is next. LM told me lat night that I am going to miss out on the greatness of right now and am begging for a half-finished next step. Whatever is for me next isn't ready yet, and I don't want "not ready". I want perfectly timed, can't get any better, To: Katie Love: God.

I don't want to miss out on now. I don't want to miss out on memories or moments that I am making right now. This weekend I ran a race with a friend and at one of the last miles I told her that she would regret getting into the car after the race and saying to herself "I could have done more out there, I could have given it more" and how much she was going to regret that and that was the LAST thing I wanted for her in her first race. Now it is time to take my own advice. I don't want to look back and say "I wish I had lived more in that moment."

When I hear that God has nothing but greatness planned for me - I get excited and impatient and want that greatness right now! But LM is right, I don't want half greatness. I don't want the unfinished product of His future for me.

So I will be here, snapping a rubberband on my wrist reminding myself that I am here and this is now and this is the greatness I asked for and He promised me 6 months ago and I am going to live in every second of it.

Irrational Fear?

2011-02-13T17:27:00.002-05:00

So to be honest, a legitimate fear of mine is that my children won't be as cute as my friend Kristi's daughter, Liv.

Is that an irrational fear?

Hopefully, when my child does something I am not so proud of I won't mumble under my breath "Liv wouldn't have done that."
And so that my friends, is the pedestal I have put this beauty on.

Sorry future fruit of my loins.

Just love it.

2011-02-01T17:20:00.001-05:00

Not everything is lost.

2011-01-20T12:11:00.002-05:00

I like to boast as a "good southern Christian girl" that I have this amazing trust in the Lord. But let's face it, if you know me you know how I like to be the one in control. How I like to be the leader in a group of people. I like to make decisions. And I like to get the credit when that decision saves the day. I know all of those things are wrong. But that is just my honesty right now. That is my sin. That is the wall between me and Him. He and I stand at the bottom of it and even though I know He could tear down that freaking wall in one blink of His eyes, I challenge Him to a duel. "I bet I can take you. I bet I can do it faster." Somewhere along the way I have told myself that I at least need to try and do it. If I don't, then I'm weak and didn't even give it a good honest try. But all that has ever gotten me was bruised and broken more than I needed to be.

I've believed the lie that I am defined by everything else except Christ. I am defined by who my family is. I am defined by every action in my past. I am defined by every single situation in college where I was at my prime of being prideful. I am defined by the sarcasm I so cling to for fear of showing weakness. But I do not define myself as being a child of God who knows her Father so well and trusts in Him so intensely that I jump and EXPECT Him to catch me....because there is no other option for Him. He would throw His body down so I wouldn't hit the ground, so that He would get hurt before I ever would. Oh wait, that's right. He did. He was wounded and killed so I wouldn't have to be. It kind of makes me sick to think that I forget that "little" detail every single day. That when I hear it in church or from a friend's mouth that I say "oh yeah, He did...".

Yesterday on the radio I was listening to a song and one of the lyrics was "Though my innocence was taken/Not everything is lost." And it just struck me hard and has not left my mind - that just because I define myself by all of those things, not everything is lost. My relationship with Christ is not defined by where I came from, or who I have been. Even more importantly the less-than-I-should-be form of myself I am right now. I can stop defining myself as all of those things at any time. I just need to make the decision to do so. But who am I if I am not defined by these?? Who is Katie?? And who is this God who laid himself down so that when I jumped out into the great wide open would break my fall - without me even asking Him to.

If I want to be defined as a child of Jesus Christ, I guess I need to actually start living as one and not just trying to reap the social benefits of one.

2010-11-29T18:33:00.002-05:00

"He said to me I was a tree in a story about a forest and that it was arrogant of me to believe any differently. And he told me the story of the forest is better than the story of the tree. I then asked God to help me understand the story of the forest and what it meant to be a tree in that story."
-Donald Miller

Scales.

2010-11-17T10:24:00.004-05:00

Why do we fight the Lord so hard? Am I the only one who knows that what He is doing is the absolute best for me but I still fight Him tooth and nail on changing? I attribute this to a lack of faith. Plain and simple. Why do I need to be in charge? Why do I need to know what is going to happen the next second? Because that is my sin. It's something as simple as needing to physically hold the directions on a road trip even if someone is right next to me reading them. There is an ugly sin in me that says I can do it best or I at least need to be in the know of what is about to happen. Bleh. The only way I can explain the work he is doing in me right now is to share with you an excerpt from my third favorite book. C.S. Lewis does an incredible job of explaining what is going on in my heart right now.

"'So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and, instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In a minute or two I just steeped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe.

'But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this under skin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.

'Well, exactly the same things happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.

'Then the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke - 'You will have to let me undress you.' I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

'The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know - if you've ever picked the scab of a sore place. It hurts like billy - oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.'

'I know exactly what you mean,' said Edmund.

'Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off - just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt - and there it was lying on the grass; only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me - I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on - and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment, After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I'd turned into a boy again. You'd think me simply phony if I told you how I felt about my own arms. I know they've no muscle and are pretty mouldy compared with Caspian's, but I was so glad to see them.'"

pg. 108-110, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C.S. Lewis, Harper Collins Publishers 1952

Hymns.

2010-11-15T19:42:00.003-05:00

Sometimes there are just those songs that sing to the exact place in your heart that is heavy. This hymn has been on repeat for me this past week. I get into slumps where I am afraid He will realize how damaged I am and will walk away. That He'll realize how sinful I really am and not want to fight that hard. But I just sit myself down and play this over and over and say these words to myself:

"Love cannot from its post withdraw;
Nor death, nor hell, nor sin, nor law,
Can turn the Surety’s heart away;
He’ll love His own to endless day."

The Love of Christ Is Rich and Free

The love of Christ is rich and free;
Fixed on His own eternally;
Nor earth, nor hell, can it remove;
Long as He lives, His own He’ll love.

His loving heart engaged to be
Their everlasting Surety;
’Twas love that took their cause in hand,
And love maintains it to the end.

Chorus: Love cannot from its post withdraw;
Nor death, nor hell, nor sin, nor law,
Can turn the Surety’s heart away;
He’ll love His own to endless day.

Love has redeemed His sheep with blood;
And love will bring them safe to God;
Love calls them all from death to life;
And love will finish all their strife.

He loves through every changing scene,
Nor aught from Him can Zion wean;
Not all the wanderings of her heart
Can make His love for her depart.

At death, beyond the grave, He’ll love;
In endless bliss, His own shall prove
The blazing glory of that love
Which never could from them remove.

Catch up.

2010-11-14T17:05:00.007-05:00

So yes, I've been gone for quite some time and no I don't have an amazing reason for it. Maybe it's just that I don't know what to write about, am being lazy or over schedule myself so that when I do come home I just want to go to bed. Maybe all three?

Well let me try my best and catch you up on what's been going on in the life of Katie.

Let's see here. What's going on in my heart right now? Honestly? Struggling with the act of loving people. Simply and honestly loving them for just being created - nothing more, nothing less. I feel as if there are just those certain people out there who just love so well and so pure...and I am not one of them. Are you just born that way? Do you have to be insanely nurtured as a child to give that much love? Or is it that you are so in love with Him that you look at people and you see the time and love that was put into His child that overwhelms your heart? I am learning this is it. It is so easy for me to look at these mountains this weekend and say "Look at how amazing this is! It is so beautiful. Look at what He created for me to see!"
But the time he took in creating each person individually has nowhere near this effect on me. Am I the only one who struggles with this? Am I missing some key part of my heart? So yes, you can be praying with me for this. Thank you!

What else, what else.... my friends Stephanie and Mills were married last weekend in a ceremony that I fell in love with. Here's some love from it.

The day was beautiful. The bride was stunning. The amount of love in one place was overwhelming. The Lord was glorified. Everything that a wedding should be and more. Congratulations Snells!

What else? Hmm... Oh yeah! New revelation/acceptance...I am not a very clean person. Hygienically, yes. Tidy around the house? Well let's just say I make amazing piles of stuff and don't actually put things away.

Newest iTunes purchase...Sandra McCracken The Builder and the Architect. The way she sings the hymns makes my eyes close and my heart open.

That was probably the most sporadic catch up I have ever played. But hey it kind of worked, right? Right?

We'll see what else this brain has floating around in it and I will share. Don't worry, I'll try to keep it PG. Some of it anyway.

I highly recommend Boyz II Men at mile 23....

2010-10-11T12:18:00.002-04:00

Here's just a quick picture of some fun I had this past weekend. Don't worry, there will be a full emotion-filled recap coming soon!

Beauty.

2010-09-27T17:46:00.002-04:00

People always ask what is this Young Life thing...here's a pretty beautiful explanation.

My Sister's Babies.

2010-09-26T17:48:00.005-04:00

Let me just say that my sister, Keri, makes beautiful babies. I may be biased, but who cares! I could seriously kiss them uncontrollably all day. (Which I usually do until Saige says I am embarrassing her or Landon head-butts me to stop.)

Take a look for yourself....

Saige

Braden

Reese
(I swear SB loved every second of this...)

Landon

If I can have babies half as beautiful as she does, I'll be one lucky mama!

2010-09-26T14:35:00.001-04:00

" I will give you this, my love, and I will not bargain or barter any longer. I will love you, as sure as He has loved me. I will discover what I can discover and though you remain a mystery, save God's own knowledge, what I disclose of you I will keep in the warmest chamber of my heart, the very chamber where God has stowed Himself in me. And I will do this to my death, and to death it may bring me.
I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love, demanding you love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and tomorrow I will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before I am ended at this altar of dying and dying again.
God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us."
— Donald Miller

Friends.

2010-09-21T22:10:00.003-04:00

How exciting is it to still have friends you can be ridiculous with?

You Are Welcome.

2010-09-19T18:07:00.003-04:00

Just enjoy. This is what you would see if my bedroom mirror was a two-way...

Diary of a wimpy girl.

2010-09-15T20:11:00.002-04:00

I came to the realization (much to my dismay) that I am a wimp. Pure and simple. Let me walk you through this light-bulb-came-on-moment.

This past weekend I went to Windy Gap in Asheville for a Women's Weekend Retreat. I have gone the past few years and insanely loved it. I love being around women who love the Lord and who always seem to know him so much more intimately than I do. I want what they have. Well this particular weekend I went in with big expectations, needless to say. I drove up with three amazing people - Laura, Kristi and baby Liv.

For some reason I was getting really bummed because I wasn't connecting very well with the speaker. She was a great woman and had good words, she and I just didn't hit it off for some reason. No ones fault, it just happens sometimes. So I started to really question why I was there that weekend. Why had I just paid $125? Why had I given up a free weekend when I haven't been at home for one in about a month? Was it a waste to come?

Then on Saturday we had some free time before dinner. Laura and I went up to the "mommy lodge" to play with Liv and hang out with Kristi. Laura is really good about asking direct questions and once again, she did her thang. During the talk after lunch the speaker made a comment about the path of our passion intersecting with the path of hunger of the world. That at that intersection is where we are doing what we were created for. And so Laura asked where I thought that intersection was for me and if I felt like I was doing what I was created for. Wow. Yup. She just did that. Am I doing what I was created for? Well I love Jesus and I hope that I am expanding the Kingdom in some way. Way to give the cop out answer, Katie.

Then as I thought more and more about it, I knew I was lying to myself. I have a comfortable life. I can pay my bills. I have good friends. I live ok. But am I doing what I was created for and is passion in life intersecting with the hunger of the world in a way that I am making a difference. (After taking a few minutes away from the keyboard I could type this.) No. I know there is something more that I am supposed to be doing. I know He made great plans for me when He created me. I'm just too much of a wimp to pursue them. Yup, I'm a wimp. I'm afraid of leaving comfortable. I'm afraid of walking away from what He has provided for me.

Then another realization came to my front lobe. I think I make God really impatient. I told Laura that I picture God standing in front of me tapping his foot and saying "Any day now Katie" looking tired and impatient with me. Waiting for me to make a decision. It sounds so logical to me. I know He has been telling me there is more for some time now, but I am too scared to listen. Laura looked at me and said "You know that isn't true though, right? You know He isn't impatient with you?" I was like "Yeah of course I know that, duh!" But then I was hit with "Wait, no I don't know that. I really really don't know that." All of the sudden I was shattered inside because for the first time I realized how much I don't know of Him. How can I say and tell people of how awesome He is but have this completely opposite picture in my head of how He looks at me.

So here I am. Struggling with how Christ looks at me. I know Him as god my savior - but not as the ever patient god who is just looking at me and thinking of how much he loves me.

But it's a starting point. This is where I grow.

I gave in...

2010-08-25T17:52:00.002-04:00

And I am in love. With jeggings. Now now, let's not be too fast to judge. I said I hated them before I really got to know them. It wasn't fair to them at all. But then Laura had them on and I kept commenting on how much I liked her new jeans and of course they would look good on me too because we have the same skin tone. (Doesn't make sense? No?) Anyway, they are great and looks great with my boots. Just trust me. Thanks Laura!

Sorry for the vain pictures of myself in my jeans. Just couldn't help it! ;)

Some pictures.

2010-08-13T20:44:00.005-04:00

Here are some pictures from Seattle. Hopefully this will make up for being gone for a month...

Oh hello there!

2010-08-13T20:06:00.004-04:00

So I've been gone for awhile - yes I know. A lot has been going on in the past month (cough, and a 1/2). I have moved into a new house with some sweet friends from college, Leize Marie and Brittany.(Brittany is right next to me. If you can't pick me out, you need quit stalking blogs you don't know. I kid.)

(Leize and I at her "welcome home from traveling the world for a year" party.)

I had completely forgotten how much moving takes out of you. We were lucky enough to find a house about oh 3 blocks away from the one I was currently living in. Lucky for me! Which somehow made me think that I didn't have to pack until the week I was moving. Which also coincided with the week I was going to Wisconsin for some Windy Gap intern fun. So maybe time management isn't one of my strengths? But I can give a mean motivational speech on it for new Young Life leaders! :) Moving is always hard. I loved the house I was living in. My roommates were great. SaraBelle had a friend at the house all the time. But you can't argue with cheaper rent with ladies you knew in college. Pretty easy decision. I was afraid my previous roommates would think I was just leaving and might causally wave to each other in the neighborhood. But last night was a sweet time where my old roommate Sarah's parents came into town. They own the house and would come down occasionally for repairs and upkeep on the house. They invited me over for spaghetti and wine. Let me tell you how much I loved this! It was very surreal walking through the front door trying to understand that I didn't live in that house anymore. None of my pictures were on the wall, my old bedroom was empty and the box of junk I had left was sitting by the front door. That house was simply not my home anymore. But I did walk into lots of hugs and a night of wine and talking. At the end of the night, I made my way the three blocks over to my new home. We're trying to get the new house together - figure out who has what furniture, buy the little doodads for the kitchen and unpack boxes. It's a lot of work. But then again the cable guy did give us free cable so life is once again good.

I've also been trying to keep up with training for a race in VA in October. It is just so freaking hot out! I honestly haven't been too good because getting long runs in before work is almost impossible. You can't really beat the humidity in Columbia. But I'll run and I'll finish the race and I'll love every second of it and then I'll sign up for another race and it will start all over again. Just a nugget of advice....remember that signing up for a long race in October in the mountains sounds great, but that does mean training in the blistering heat.

Seattle.

2010-06-30T08:25:00.004-04:00

More to come later on why I love this town. For now you can have this. You know, just me and 2 women who I ran with this past weekend who have run over 106 marathons!
I was jealous the ENTIRE time of their amazing legs! Yes I am a 27 year old who was coveting the legs of a 60 year old. I am not ashamed.

My Weekend.

2010-06-20T15:17:00.003-04:00

This picture describes my weekend perfectly. It was very low key and I really loved every bit of it.

Friday night was a celebration of Chad Rochester's birth with nice drinks with friends at Saludas. It was a very unlikely weathered Columbia night with a gentle breeze and cheesy waiter. All the best for celebrating Chadders.

Ok so if you live in Columbia and you have not been to City Roots then I promise you are missing out on something great! It is a local sustainable farm about 5 minutes from my house. I had read a few articles on them and decided what the heck! I need to go! So go and volunteer I did Saturday morning for about 4 hours and cannot wait to get back there! Harvesting sprouts, planting herbs and learning to snap the suckers off tomato plants and tie them up. There were two neighborhood boys, G and PJ, both 13 who worked harder than I ever could have! They spent the morning calling me m'am and Miss Katie as we planted seeds and talked about how they were going to be big baseball players when they got to high school - they said I was allowed to come and cheer for them if I wanted ;)
This farm is a hidden treasure. There is something magical about being in that greenhouse with all the intricacies of planting, growing, harvesting and planting again that made me stop and think of how much the Lord loves me. I try to make it complicated and intense, but it is simple and sweet. Christ created me and loves me. Just as I learned to prune the tomato plants so they could bear more fruit, He does the same to my soul.
So with that I went home with a full heart, sunflowers, sprouts and carrots. Paying me with these goodies? A-N-Y-T-I-M-E! (Just don't tell my boss!)
So after a long and luscious nap - I haven't worked that hard in awhile! Homemade pizza,some wine, and giving my boots a much needed polish. Let me tell you about how happy I was. In heaven.

Wait a second....where do I live again? Columbia, SC or Iowa?

Sunday has been pjs, coffee, pruning the tomato plant at our house, and laundry. Oddly enough - it's been perfect. It may be that I know I have a full week ahead with leaving for Seattle and being away for 6 days that made me just want to be home and lounge, whatever it is, I loved it!

Hope your weekend was equally as great!

And another...

2010-06-14T21:48:00.001-04:00

"'Course he isn't safe," the Beaver replies. "But he's good."

Can't stop reading this...

2010-06-14T21:46:00.001-04:00

‘Are you not thirsty?’ said the Lion.

‘I’m dying of thirst,’ said Jill.

‘Then drink,’ said the Lion.

‘May I – could I – would you mind going awaywhile I do?’ said Jill.

The Lion answered this only by a look and a very low growl…

‘I daren’t come and drink.’ said Jill.

‘Then you will die of thirst.’ said the Lion.

‘Oh dear,’ said Jill, coming another step nearer. ‘I suppose I must go and look for another stream then.’

‘There is no other stream.’ said the Lion.

C.S. Lewis The Silver Chair, ch. 2

Oh Annie Lennox!

2010-06-13T20:29:00.003-04:00

There few things in life that inspire pure joy. Touch of Sea Salt chocolate, red meat, coffee and Annie Lennox coming on the radio as I am driving down a long road on a sunny day with the windows down. Enjoy.

Obsessed.

2010-06-07T18:46:00.002-04:00

Nothing else to say.

Except that you MUST run and go get it.

It's like a chocolate chip cookie without the cookie part.

I'm obsessed.

The Parkway...North...

2010-05-23T20:02:00.002-04:00

While in Boone this weekend, I made the realization that I have never had a "Parkway Experience". I've driven on it a bajillion times, but have never stopped and just really enjoyed it. After driving on the Parkway for 30 minutes going South and having NO views, a quick turn around and headed North gave me exactly what I wanted. Enjoy.

Wear The Sandal, Share Their Story, and Give Hope

2010-05-14T20:26:00.003-04:00

Reef has partnered with 31 Bits, an organization that aids displaced women in Uganda, through the practice of fair trade. 1% of the proceeds of the Ugandal Sandal will benefit the Reef Redemption Fund - Reef's own humanitarian and environmental organization. Buy the Reef Ugandal Sandal at Half-Moon Outfitters.

Good thing my credit card is in the freezer in ice.

2010-05-10T20:47:00.005-04:00

Maybe it's because most of my days at work are filled with jeans, t-shirts and sweaty running clothes, but I LOVE pretty girlie stuff. I need these.

I know I don't actually NEED(big) these things, but I think do need(small) them...

And...is it crazy of me to be drooling over both of these?

Yet Again...Simple Words

2010-04-27T23:17:00.000-04:00

"How quickly I forget I'm yours/"

These are lyrics from a song that just came on my itunes.
How true is it that how quickly I forget that I am His.
Too quickly and too often.

A little late....

2010-04-11T19:36:00.002-04:00

So let's see...what's been going on with Katie....

Well on March 21, 2010 I finished my first marathon! The ING Atlanta. For those that remember, I attempted the Myrtle Beach in February but of course the planets aligned to kill that goal by having it snow crazy amounts in South Carolina THAT single weekend. So my sweet sweet friend Lindsey went online and found the next closest and soonest we could register for. And it just happened to be in her hometown where we could stay with her family. Perfect! Now I'm not going to lie to you, I felt completely prepared for the MB Marathon...even cried when it was canceled. After that weekend I came down with a nasty chest cold and just couldn't kick it...G-REAT. So needless to say I didn't do much training for the next 3 weeks. I just convinced myself that the down time was good to relax and center myself. (Or something completely made up just like that!)

We left Saturday and arrived at Lindsey's house just in time to head to dinner with her family. Woke up the next morning, ran a marathon, cat napped for an hour, jumped back in the Honda and headed back to Columbia. I do not recommend running a big race and then getting in the car for 3 hours. Just in case you were planning on doing that anytime soon.

The race was an insane mix of emotions. Excited, anxious, nervous, happy,pissed and overwhelmed are pretty much it. And yes I cried. I didn't expect that one. At mile 20 I just cried. It was the culmination of so many emotions and the thought that I still had a 10k to go. It was never the thought that I couldn't do it, it was more of holy crap I am doing this! To be so close to completing something you have put so much into is overwhelming.

Crossing the finish line was one of the best feelings I have ever had. I had done it.

So what's next? Run another one of course!!

Bring on the Seattle Rock and Roll Marathon, June 26!

Simple words.

2010-03-15T22:23:00.001-04:00

On Monday nights I have the HONOR of hanging out with a group of ladies that make my heart sing. Seriously, God hand selected each of us and set us in a room together and said "now play nice" and we did :) They are the women that keep me sane, make me laugh and lift me up in prayer. Tonight I heard some of the sweetest words that really hit my soul and brought tears to my cheeks. We've decided to adopt these words as a group and to live by them together and then hopefully for the rest of our lives.

"In this place, the absent are safe."

Just sit on them and repeat them to yourself over and over. In this place (my home, my car, my job, my soul) the absent (who are not here to defend themselves) are safe.

Don't you want to know you're safe even in absence? Thought so. Then we need to treat others with that same respect.

Amen. Amen.

Spring is coming!

2010-03-10T18:43:00.004-05:00

And with that comes new clothes! I am not a huge shopper, but when I find things I love I can't help myself and HAVE to have them. No, not "is that really a want, Katie" but it is a straight up need. Especially ones that have multiple purposes - such as...

Patagonia Lithia Skirt

It's a skirt...

It's also a SHIRT!

And another....Patagoia Kamala Skirt

It's a skirt...It's also a DRESS!

I know I know...stop it!

And then this little goodness that makes me want warmer weather to be here right freakin' now!

...

2010-03-07T20:36:00.000-05:00

Just because I can take care of myself,
doesn't mean I don't want to be taken care of.

Hard at work...

2010-02-24T18:31:00.003-05:00

This past weekend HMO put on it's First Annual Make My Day 12k! My boss is kinda awesome in the fact that I got involved in trail running so he said let's do our own. Not a bad gig at all...here's some of the footage...

Make My Day 12K from Matt Porter on Vimeo.

Who am I?

2010-02-23T19:14:00.006-05:00

Sometimes I have a hard time defining who I am. I love sundresses and Anthropologie - last trip I spent 2 hours in heaven. I love to read and oogle over the Pioneer Woman. I jumped up and down when this came in the mail at work last week....
And then this is the newest member of my family....

My new baby. Everyone should go mountain biking - don't be a baby - you'll love it and get hooked just as I did!

But then I go and buy some new purple nail polish because I am loving it! A little "Lincoln Park After Dark" if you will. And I will!

And then again I drool over the thought of trail running in these....

I just feel like I don't necessarily fit into a category. Am I a girlie girl or do I love a weekend of camping and mountain biking? I've honestly been struggling with this lately. But this past weekend I came to the simple conclusion that I am both. I can run trails and get dirty biking but then put on my new dress and go drink a glass of wine with my friends. I don't know why I thought I had to pick one Katie over the other, but man I am glad I didn't! Just as long as I don't wear that new dress on my new bike!

Yay Marathon....Boo Snow....

2010-02-23T18:55:00.003-05:00

So lately I've been a bad blogger because I've been busy and lazy and a maybe a little bit of both. So much to catch up on I don't know really where to begin...

Let's start with the Myrtle Beach Marathon. So I ran and ran and ran and then ran in the morning and then ran in the rain and then ran in the freezing cold. All to drive to Myrtle Beach SC where it decided to snow like crazy and cancel the marathon I had been training and running for! Really SC? Did I do something to you? Am I not a good citizen? Did you punish me for not being proud enough of you to sport your flag all over my belongings? If so, then continue to be disappointed. So needless to say I was pissed but what can you do? Put my Myrtle Beach Marathon 2010 shirt on and grab a beer and sulk? EXACTLY! But it's ok because with 14 friends in a massive beach house to cheer me up and a trip to Anthropologie for some retail therapy I survived!

Here are a few pics for your viewing pleasure....

What we woke up to.

I could eat them up!

Yay Chad rode REALLY fast!
Sweet Friends.
Pissed we didn't get to race. But we love each other.

So what to do now? Sign up for the ING Atlanta Marathon on March 21 and the New River 50k on October 9th. Bring it on! Lindsey and I decided to wear our Myrtle Beach shirts in the ING marathon but to add a nice RIP to the back of it....yeah that'll get 'em!

Sleet? Freezing Rain? Yes I'll go for a run!

2010-02-02T19:20:00.002-05:00

So this past weekend was my company's first annual trail race! Somehow I conned my sister, Keri, into running it with me. She had decided to start training for a 5k, so I somehow convinced her that running a 6k trail race would be perfect for her! Don't be alarmed, she is very smart. But my friends, I am VERY persuasive. Just try me. :) Here are a couple gems from that day....

Pumped at the beginning!

Keri's first race! Cheers with frozen muffins!

Just for fun! Sally's hair was FROZEN!

So much fun! Yes this is part of my job and I can't complain at all!

10 more days until Marathon day!!

Lady Eyes Only!

2010-01-11T19:29:00.002-05:00

If for some odd reason you are a guy and reading this....STOP! I promise you won't want to read about this stuff at all!

So now you have been warned.

I just had to put this out there. A friend of mine this past weekend brought to my attention the importance of using organic tampons. Now before you call me a tree-hugger, hippie or band-wagon jumper oner, please read this.

"With the economy the way it is, I can understand you looking for places to save money. To find out if chlorine-free tampons are worth the splurge keep reading.

Chlorine-free basically means the cotton is whitened without the use of the chemical chlorine. The problem with using chlorine for bleaching is that dangerous toxins known as dioxins are the by-product. Studies show that dioxins collect in the fatty tissues of animals and humans, and even low levels of exposure can lead to cancer, endometriosis, birth defects, and reproductive disorders. It can also irritate your skin, so if your lady parts are sensitive, chlorine-free is definitely the way to go.

Another plus is that chlorine-free tampons are often made solely with organic cotton, and contain no polyester, rayon, plastics, or other synthetic ingredients. Organic cotton is grown without pesticides, so it's safer for the farmers who grow it, safer for the environment, and also safer for you. Since a woman will go through about 11,000 tampons in her lifetime, it's worth the splurge to decrease you exposure to chlorine and other chemicals."

We talk about being healthy and eating healthy and using organic products but tampons are something we use regularly and are VERY close to us when we use them. After doing some research I was grossed out by the chemicals and materials used in conventional tampons. If it comes down to organic apples or tampons....I'm going for the ones that are going to be closer to me.

Take the time to do some research for yourself.

A New Year!

2010-01-11T19:11:00.003-05:00

It's been over a month since my last post?! I shouldn't be that surprised actually since December seems to be the most hectic and hard to remember month of them all....especially in retail! What went on this month...hmm...well...

I completed my first half-marathon on the 5th. WOOHOO! And L-O-V-E-D every stinkin' second of it!

My sister Chi graduated from college! Congrats Chidi!! Now get a job and start contributing to society! Love you.

Went home to see the fam Christmas and watch the munchins ooo and ahhh over presents.

For New Year's I went to Asheville. Oh how I love that city. I want to live there. Ok I will live there. My beautiful friends Welles and Bricker let me stay with them and they are AMAZING for it. Really, you ask? Amazing? Isn't that what friends are for? Well let me explain that their "living space" right now is the size of my bedroom at home. No lie. Not even an exaggeration. Their bedroom/living room, bathroom, closet and kitchen are the size of a normal bedroom. And they still allowed me to stay with them. That is why they are AMAZING. Aren't they pretty?

We went to the Avett Brothers concert for New Year's Eve (insert moment of extended sigh for the memory) and then hung out the rest of the weekend. We ate, we hung out with friends, we ate some more, went and got drinks, and then ate again.

Now here I am, on January 11, 2010 wondering where 2009 went. What did I do? Where did I go? Am I a better person because of 2009? Oh hell yes and 2010 is shaping up to be even better!

I Love These Lyrics.

2009-12-10T20:45:00.002-05:00

I wanna have friends that I can trust,
that love me for the man I’ve become not the man I was.
I wanna have friends that will let me be
all alone when being alone is all that I need.
I wanna fit in to the perfect space,
feel natural and safe in a volatile place.
And I wanna grow old without the pain,
give my body back to the earth and not complain.
Will you understand when I am too old of a man?
And will you forget when we have paid our debt
who did we borrow from?

Okay part two now clear the house.
The party’s over take the shouting and the people,
get out.
I have some business and a promise that I have to hold to.
I do not care what you assume or what the people told you.
Will you understand, when I am too old of a man?
Will you forget when we have paid our debts,
who did we borrow from, who did borrow from?

I wanna have pride like my mother has,
And not like the kind in the bible that turns you bad.
And I wanna have friends that I can trust,
that love me for the man I’ve become and not the man that I was.

-Avett Brothers The Perfect Space

End of semester = lots of eating out!

2009-12-10T09:02:00.001-05:00

These ladies make my week. Feeling good that I can still blend in with freshmen in college!

2009-12-06T11:31:00.003-05:00

These few pictures speak volumes of the holidays with my family....

SaraBelle just LOVES Reesie.

Just some good ole quality time together.

This is how Aunt Katie entertains herself when she goes home!

2009-11-24T20:29:00.001-05:00

I just want to sit in His mysteries and let that be enough.

Lies We Believe.

2009-11-16T18:38:00.002-05:00

Last week a couple of my girlfriends and I were talking over dinner about how easy it is to believe the lies that are whispered to us. Before dinner that night I had gone on a run and really hit a low of believing some of the lies. As I was running, I ran past a stopped car with 2 guys in it at an intersection. As I ran past I heard them laughing and immediately I told myself they were laughing at me because I was fat. Seriously. I could hear them laughing for about another minute and I actually started to cry as I ran. A small piece of me even said "It's just Satan lying to you", but I still couldn't get the lie out of my head. That one moment had done it's damage, had socked me so hard in the stomach that I had to strain to catch my breath. Now before you say anything, yes I know I am not fat. And yes I am well aware that the guys in the car probably didn't even notice I was running in front of them. But am I insecure about my weight and body? Of course, I am a fallen 26 year old woman who lives in a world of Cosmo and MTV. Even the women I admire in trail running have killer bodies that I now find myself comparing to. I can tell myself a million times "I am a child of God, He created me perfectly, I am wonderfully made, He sees me as beautiful." But yet it never seems to be enough. It never seems to be enough for me that He sees me as beautiful. And that scares me. It scares me that my want is not to please Him, but to feel as though I am beautiful. Most people would say that I am an insanely secure and confident women, well those who don't know me too well would. Because it isn't true. I struggle daily with not being "girly" enough or pretty enough or thin enough or in-shape enough. It makes me angry with God when I feel like this because I'm like seriously? You can't help me out a bit in this? How do we stop the lies and how do we protect our hearts from them?

All I know to do when the whispers come, is to say even louder that He thinks I am beautiful and wait for the day when I truly believe it.

Some not so serious.

2009-11-09T21:47:00.002-05:00

I know I need to blog about some real stuff, I've got lots of stuff started but not finished. You'll see it soon enough. But to hold you over....

Red River Gorge-ous

2009-10-25T16:06:00.006-04:00

Last week, 7 girls (5 from Athens, 1 from Columbia) and I went to Kentucky for 4 days. We decided we HAD to get out of our towns and do something. So we decided to pack up and head to Slade, KY and do some climbing. A couple of the girls had been there before but I hadn't, so needless to say I was all in! Let me just set this up....5 girls, 5 girls gear, a Chevy Tracker and 7 hours of driving. Yup you guessed it! Lots of crazy moments and insane amounts of fun!

It was absolutely beautiful! The land made me really want Fall to hit Columbia in a major way! Despite freezing toes and tents, I wanted that weather back home when I got there.

Now I'm not an avid climber and so I was a bit nervous on the way up to good ole Kentucky, but quickly realized that didn't matter. I just need to be outside doing something, anything, trying something, falling of a rock face...anything as long as I am not cooped up inside for very long. I loved being around women who loved the same thing, driving out of our way to grab some beer at a sketchy (yet awesome) store, contemplating with Amy what our pizza at Miguel's that night would be, and going to bed absolutely pooped because I had done something that day. It's a great feeling. And there is just something about being around a group of women who are just there to have fun and there is no pressure to be something you're not. It's a beautiful feeling. The encouraging words like "Hey you're ass looks great up there" and "You just Sharmad that bitch" that make you want to go farther than you thought you could or actually try something you wouldn't have even considered, i.e. attempting to lead my first route. Wouldn't have traded it for anything. And Ed, who could forget about Ed? I certainly won't. Sitting with people and just enjoying them and who they are with no judgment or expectations, that's where the beauty is.

Needless to say I had an amazing time. I don't have pictures yet from the trip, but I'll leave you with some I "borrowed" from Steph.

Some Love.

2009-10-12T08:49:00.002-04:00

"All beautiful you are, my darling;

there is no flaw in you."

-Song of Solomon 4:7

Some mornings I just need to hear this.

Lyrics

2009-10-07T23:20:00.002-04:00

I think it's the first few verses that really hit me...

"I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?"

But whatever it is, when this song comes on Pandora as I am getting ready in the morning...it just hits me.

Sae Got Hitched!

2009-10-05T17:40:00.005-04:00

And it was beautiful! Like Charleston magazine beautiful! I stole some pictures from Barb since my camera is en route to me. Enjoy!

Me Being Short...

Rehearsal....

Classy At Tea...

Just Plain Looking Good...
Erin and Barb...Hotties...

With The Bride....

THE PARKERS!!

Just When You Think You Are On The Up and Up...

2009-09-30T21:00:00.003-04:00

This weekend I am running a race in Chattanooga. It's the 11 mile StumpJump on Signal Mtn. I'm scared, nervous, anxious and really really excited! Tonight after work I decided to head out to Harbison State Forest and run some trails to relieve stress and get another run in. I've actually been feeling really good on my runs lately and was really kicking tail tonight. So here I am running in my o-so-fashionable running skort and telling myself how I just kicked the CRAP out of that hill when coming up the hill in front of me is.....
Yup, that's right folks. A man on a unicycle just kicked the CRAP out of the hill I just huffed up. Someone last night told me that running was a very humbling sport. Thanks God for illustrating that for me. My ego has been brought back down to it's right place.